Facing Change
“Nothing is constant but change” is a saying we would say at my internship site in graduate school. This was a common saying because our teen clients would often complain about mandated changes from probation that they forced to comply with. They hated this statement, initially, but would often lean back on this phrase as a way to cope through changes.
We all face change in our lives and 2020 has forced the world to change thanks to the global pandemic of COVID-19. Even if change is necessary, or mandated, it’s usually not easy. As humans, we do not like change. Our brains are wired to keep the familiar and “normal” in order to keep us safe. Our brains believe that anything different is bad, unsafe, or scary. Even if the new change is better for us, safer, and/or more fulfilling, our brain will try to keep us from changing.
Coping Strategies To Decrease Anxiety With Change
1. Go into your heart– Take a deep breath and focus on moving out of your brain into your heart. Reflect on the change and reflect on how the change feels to you. Then decide if the change is right for you. If it is a forced change, focus on what you can control and what you need. You can also focus on being protected through the changes.
2. Reality check yourself– Your brain will lie to you. It will make up all kinds of scary situations that “may” happen. Fear lives in your ego, not your heart and soul. It’s ok to play out a situation to see if the fear (or the lies) are real.
3. Remember the why– When doubts come up, remember why you’re making this change. This can help you stay anchored into why you’re changing.
4. Radical Acceptance– When the change is not what you had hoped it to be, focusing on accepting the bigger picture instead of trying to change the uncontrollable. This does not mean you have to love the bigger picture, it means that you are accepting of what is instead of trying to change it.
5. Let go of controlling everything– Let go of what is outside of your control. You cannot control anything but yourself. Surrender to the change that is about to happen and flow with the change.
6. Remind yourself of the excitement related to change – Tell yourself all the things that you are excited about related to this change or find the good in the change. For example, when COVID hit and my family was staying home, I tried to focus on the quality time we get staying home together.
7. Breathe– Take deep breaths and focus on getting grounded in your body.
8. Get grounded– Do grounding activities that help you feel safe and secure. These are usually activities that engage your senses. These can be activities like being outside and being mindful of what you hear, see, smell, and feel, or drinking cold water, taking a shower or bath, swimming, working out, being barefoot on the floor, looking at fun pictures, or talking with a friend.
9. Stay in the moment– If you get overwhelmed, stay in the here and now. Sometimes thinking too far into the future or in the past makes people feel even more overwhelmed. Stay with the present moment and identify what you’re needing. You may need to rest, act towards the change, engage in self-care, etc. Remember that this feeling will not last forever.
10. Talk to a safe person – Talking to a safe person can help you navigate change. They may have a different perspective and can offer different insights to help you process the change. You can also reach out to a therapist if you are feeling stuck.