Impact of Unresolved Trauma and Benefits of Trauma Therapy
Everyone in this world has experienced trauma. Traumas can be “Big T” trauma or “Little T” trauma. Big T trauma is what most people think of when they think of trauma. These are things like assault, major car accident, witnessing death, threats of harm/death, abuse, etc. Little T traumas are things like emotional abuse, neglect, death of loved one or pet, parent that was emotionally unavailable or inconsistent, etc. This doesn’t even include inherited trauma that we receive as we are conceived. All generations before us pass down their trauma in our DNA. There are so many studies on this but my favorite source is the book “It Didn’t Start With You” by Mark Wolynn.
Most of my clients come in to therapy, not with major, single incident traumas (like assault, major car accident, or horrific death). Most of my clients come in not even knowing that they have experienced trauma. They come in because they are not feeling great about themselves, relationships or life in general. As I am getting to know the clients, and their stories, I start to understand why they are not in the best space and it’s always linked back to unresolved trauma history.
Every single client has experienced trauma that has changed the way that they feel about themselves. Clients will report presenting concerns of feeling not good enough, unlovable, unworthy, bad, and feelings of shame and hurt. We are not born this way! We are born with an innate sense of perfection, worthiness and belonging. It’s the environment that we grow up in that makes us believe differently. For example, if someone was never told “I love you” by their parents, they are more likely to struggle with loving themselves/others and struggle with believing that they are worthy of love. Another example, if someone grew up in a home in which they were always getting in trouble for having emotions or needs, they are more likely to believe that they are a burden or too much. When couple’s attend therapy due to ineffective communication, it’s usually because of communication patterns that were conditioned from the trauma.
Here are ways that trauma can present:
People pleasing
Victim Mentality
Aggression
Nightmares
Substance Abuse
Distrust n others
Relationship
Disconnection/Conflict
Guardedness
Eating Disorders
Social anxiety
Depression and Anxiety
Not wanting to ask for help
Difficulties with school or work
Difficulty apologizing
Self-sabotage
Conditional love for self and others
Shame and Guilt
Autoimmune Disorders
Feeling unfulfilled
Body Aches
Feeling lost or stuck
Fatigue
Sleep disturbances
Sleep Disturbances
Avoidance Behaviors
Headaches
Not being authentic to ourselves or with others
GI issues
Fears of Rejection or fear of being alone
Lack mindset instead of abundance mindset
Playing small (to fit in or be off the radar)
Overthinking EVERYTHING
Feeling disconnected from yourself
Does any of this resonate with you? What if I told you that you could live the life you’ve always dreamed of by healing your trauma. Seriously!! As we heal our trauma(s), we heal our brains, bodies and souls. (We also heal future generations)
How do we heal trauma? There are lots of ways to heal trauma but here are my favorite interventions. I love using EMDR or Brainspotting with my clients. Both of these are short term interventions, meaning that the typical length is 10-15 sessions. Both of these therapies focus on activating both hemispheres of the brain in order to allow for rapid processing from the emotional hemisphere of the brain over to the logical hemisphere. This means that we will remember the trauma but we do not continue to feel it. Brainspotting goes a step farther by activating the sub cortex of the brain (that bottom part of the brain that rests of the spinal cord). This allows the body to be activated and heal trauma stored in the body.
I have done both of these and am obsessed with both. Here’s my experience with EMDR. I have done EMDR 3 times – 2 were at the trainings and 1 was after the training. Each training we were asked to pick a target to work on. We were asked to pick something that bothered us around a 7 (with 0 being doesn’t bother us at all to 10 being the worst ever). I picked something that was at a 5-6 and something that is still present in my life today. After the first weekend training, my target was at a 0 but I didn’t believe that it was gone. The next day, something happened that would normally trigger me and nothing happened. There was no reaction whatsoever. It was really amazing! A similar experience happened after my weekend 2 training. Then I did EMDR again after I was assaulted while working as a therapist in a residential treatment facility. That time I started off thinking “I should’ve known better” or “If I was a better therapist, this wouldn’t have happened” and lots of feelings of fear, shame, and embarrassment. In less than 45 minutes, I felt completely fine. All the emotions had vanished and my thoughts were completely different. At the end, I was thinking “I got off easy because the therapist that had that client after me had WAY more work and trouble than I did”. Even now, I can write about it and there is nothing coming up.
Brainspotting was a totally different experience. I was SUPER skeptical as the practice sessions started but pretty quickly my body started reacting. My throat became really tight and my chest was heavy. It was like my body was operating independently from my brain. As the physical sensations would change and shift, images would flash through my mind like a super-fast slide show. Some of the images did not make any sense until a few days after the brainspotting. It was like my brain finally caught up to what was happening. At the end of brainspotting, I felt brighter and like I had cleared out a lot of emotional baggage I didn’t even know I was carrying. It was more intense than EMDR but seemed to do more healing.
I have seen both of these interventions work wonders for people on all kinds of presenting traumas and concerns. I’ve used it with clients for trauma, anxiety, phobias, food addictions, panic attacks, and performance enhancement. I’d recommend either of these for anyone that wants to heal.
Other forms of trauma healing can include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, Reiki, Energy Healing, Acupuncture, Hypnotherapy (I’m currently working on getting trained and certified in this one), and meditation. There’s no wrong method except not doing the work to heal your trauma. Everyone responds to treatments differently and that’s 100% ok.
As you are healing your trauma, you will start to be your authentic and highest self. Your life will start to change in so many positive ways because you will finally be in alignment with your soul. It’s amazing to see clients make these huge changes just by healing their trauma. They start to feel like themselves again and feel fulfilled. They will start to engage in healthy activities, create healthier relationships and live a more fulfilled life. Not only do I get the privilege of helping clients achieve this level of healing but I have also gone through this healing journey and continue to do my healing work. If you’re interested in EMDR, Brainspotting or Energy work, reach out to me and I can help. I can also give you referrals for other therapists or coaches that can help you reach your goals.
Resources
https://www.emdria.org/page/what_is_emdr_therapy